+Rant II: What I'm Thinking+

Do you want to know what I'm thinking
When my lips fall silent, and my eyes find their voice
When I watch your movements for too long
When I hold your gaze too steadily
When I find no humor in this prolonged connection

I'm thinking, wow, your eyes are stunning
Drops of molten amber, ever-changing
Careful, always careful, but always striking
Like a never ending lightning storm
Lighting up everything in their path

I'm thinking, there's no better place than your arms
Where my world vanishes for a moment
Where the ice bleeds from my veins
Where I feel at home for the first time in weeks
And I am completely, vulnerable

I'm thinking, that your lips on mine
Could start a fire in this place
I could burn enough for the both of us
But instead, I'll divert my eyes, reroute my train of thought
Back to the clear path, with 100% visibility

In thinking, that I love the sensation of your hands in mine
Falling into a pattern and following along
As I absentmindedly check them for flexibility
Until they fall into the places between mine
Where I want them to belong, but I know they don't

I'm thinking, that the music is saying everything I can't
That each true phrase is like a new knife in my sternum
As it gets harder to breathe, so I put on a mask of apathy
Because even if I'm hurting, I couldn't cry for you if I tried
So this expressionless façade, is my way of falling apart

I'm thinking, that I can feel my heart crumbling
Piece by piece it falls away, with every word I speak
That I shouldn't care this much for you
That I should hate you with everything I have
That I should probably, fake a smile right now